White Bird Must Fly
by MsLanna
Summary: A lesson about friendship, protection and respect.


**Note:** This is a story gift fomr a Valentine exchange.  
The song 'White Bird' did indeed inspire me a little for writing. Go and listen at a site of your choice. It's a good song.

* * *

White Bird Must Fly

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Plik.

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Plik.

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Plik.

There was no reaction.

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Plik.

Another colourful missile bounced off the impeccable white armour.

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Plik.

"I can do that all day, you know?" Ahsoka picked a chocolate covered nut with red sugar coating, aimed it as the motionless clone and threw.

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Plik.  
It bounced off the middle of the visor. There was still no reaction. The sweet bullets started to cover the floor like marbles a child might have forgotten to pick up. She popped another into her mouth before aiming the next - a yellow one - at Rex again.

It bounced of his left temple.

If he'd at least bat them away, or catch them. But he was just standing there as if he was a statue. Armoured up completely he came really close, too.

There was no reason to armour up, really. There was also no reason to stand around like timber in the cargo bay either. The _Dreamscape_ was a wonderful ship. Ahsoka had been exploring it eagerly; Jedi did not get to travel that high class often. And it had really seemed like a very good idea at that time. Crazy like many of Anakin's plans, but feasible and fast. Speed was vital.

So they had - procured the ship temporarily, treating its passengers to an almost free flight to Kamino and back. It was a two day flight and to the young Togrutan it had sounded like a perfect holiday. Two days with nothing to do but look at the ship, explore the luxurious features and annoy Captain Rex.

I am not a nuisance, she told herself firmly. I am being the sensible one this time. I am associating with the few passengers, keeping their anger low. Half of them considered it to be an exciting adventure anyway. They were suddenly part of the war endeavour and would have a story to tell. And two days off was not much to ask for. Ahsoka picked another nut and chewed it thoughtfully.

Her eyes never left the motionless figure of Rex. Why could he not enjoy this little side trip? Tempted to throw another chocolate missile at him, she decided that it might be a good question to ask him. "What's it, Rex?"

"This is a waste of time," came the prompt reply.

"How?" she wanted to know. "It's the fastest way to Kamino and back. We'll have the new commando at Fornax in no time at all!"

"You could have done that on your own," Rex said.

For once Ahsoka was not pleased with the appreciation of her skills. Yes, it was true she could have gone on her own, Skywalker had even suggested that. But somehow it had seemed a good idea to take Rex along. She had watched him and the man never took a minute off. He'd crack if he didn't relax, she was sure of that.

Only now he seemed more cracked than ever and there was nothing to do but kick back. She just didn't get it. He had not argued back on Fornax, and her arguments had not been unbeatable. When she looked at them now, they seemed truly feeble. His expertise on commandos was all very well, but since Commander Colt would be doing the choosing mostly, that was not really important.

Why did I insist? she wondered looking at the man before her. He was obviously unhappy about his situation. "I thought you could use some slack," she decided to be straightforward. "You drive yourself harder than any of the others."

"Of course," he stated. "With the power and ability to do something comes responsibility." He shook his head. "You should know about that, Commander."

That he retreated into official titles instead of the usual informal names made everything worse in a way Ahsoka could not quite put a finger on. She didn't say that she had been trying to help him. Somehow she didn't think he'd understand. "Moping around like this is not going to change it any," she finally said. "You could at least try to get something out of the trip."

"It doesn't feel right while the others are still in the war zone." He didn't move. "I could have affected more with them."

The cold truth of it made Ahsoka uneasy. A part of her felt like a wayward child, bent on getting her will despite of the obvious counterproductiveness of it. But another part of her was unwilling to let go of this opportunity. There had to be a way she could convince Rex that this was fun. "You are right, and I will go on my own next time. I promise. But for now it is too late. So get over it and come up with me."

Rex still did not move.

"That is an order!" Ahsoka was tempted to stamp her foot on the floor, but that would really have let the child in her win. She was too grown up to do that. It was important, especially in front of the clone Captain.

Rex acknowledged the order with a short nod.

With a sigh of relief Ahsoka began her way back into the living quarters of the ship. She turned her head to look at the following clone. "Are not at least going to take off the helmet?" she asked coming to a halt.

"To what end?" He asked back.

"To show a positive attitude?"

He shook his head.

"Because it is an order?"

Rex folded his arms before his chest and tilted his head in a challenge.

"For me?" Ahsoka tried one last time.

Rex seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then he shook his head. "Sorry."

Ahsoka put her firsts on her hips. She was not supposed to be angry. Rex had a right to be stubborn and obnoxious as much as everybody else had. It was just - it was just that he wouldn't even - not even - she hesitated before finishing the thought. It would have been nice, if he had done it for her.

"I am your commanding officer," she insisted. "You have to."

"Make me." There was no mistaking the amusement in his voice.

Ahsoka huffed exasperated. "Fine." She closed the distance between them with long strides, her hands uncurling on her hips. "Have it the hard way, Mr. Stubborn."

When her hands reached out, Rex automatically tried to get hold of them, but Ahsoka was not even trying to get at the helmet. Instead she suddenly crouched down and pulled the feet out under him. She would bring him down to her level before fighting. A smile crept over her lips. Yes, she had had a good teacher.

Armoured up as he was, Rex did not worry about hitting the ground hard. He didn't even try to catch his fall but instead focussed on the Togrutan. She came for a race of predators and learnt fast. It was amazing to watch sometimes as she tethered on the line between child and adult. She tried to come up behind him, but a quick turn put them face to face again. She grinned wildly.

It did not intimidate her that the captain was in full armour. She had the Force to help her reflexes and reactions so it was only fair that he had an advantage as well. She circled him warily, hindering his efforts at getting back up again. She would lose an advantage if she let him. It was fun, somehow. It might have been more fun if they had not been actually arguing.

She feinted a few times, but he never fell for it. He just knew her to well. Ahsoka couldn't stop grinning. Finally, she launched into a series of feints before approaching from the front and using his chest armour to pivot over him. It was a difficult manoeuvre even with the Force to fine-tune her movements.

She set down behind him lightly and turned on her balls of her feet as they touched the ground. Her hands closed over the seals. A short squeeze popped them open and she pulled the helmet of Rex' head. Almost triumphantly, she jumped away, holding the item like a prize.

"Return it." There was a commanding undertone in his voice; he was not playing anymore.

"If you behave and leave it off when we go up," Ahsoka replied. She kept a wary eye on him ion case he decided to get it back suddenly.

The cone captain crossed his arms before his chest. His set mouth showed no inclination to yield. Ahsoka glanced around, tired of trying to convince him. Her eyes fell upon the airlock of the cargo bay. Rex caught her glance but shook his head.

Ahsoka lobbed the helmet into the airlock and used the Force to shut it.

Rex looked at her, disbelief all over his face. "You would not dare."

Just a second ago, she would not. But Ahsoka had enough. This whole trip was a mess and not at all the fun cruise she had wanted. Rex being stubborn and still superior and right was only the last straw. Her inner child took control.

She knew it was a mistake the moment the airlock opened and catapulted the white object into space.

Rex got up without a word and left. He'd be among the passengers now, alright. Somehow that didn't make Ahsoka feel any better. Helmets were important. They contained the private life and world of each clone. And she had just jettisoned that for a childish argument. She wanted to hug herself and forget about it, but that was just the child again.

Ahsoka didn't even bother to curse her other side as she closed her eyes and reached out in a desperate gesture.

* * *

He didn't talk to her for the rest of the trip. Oh, Rex answered questions and obeyed orders but out of this official context, he did not react at all. It hurt more than Ahsoka had expected. She felt as if she had lost a good friend, one of the best, even. And each time she looked at his upright figure something else nagged at the back of her mind.

But soon this would be over. She sped up her strides. Commander Colt had already chosen a squad on their arrival. Rex was assessing them at the moment, the very reason she had claimed to need him along. So she snuck away, hoping Colt had managed her special request already.

He had. The workshop they met in was full of armour in different states of disrepair and other pieces of gear, some of which she could only tentatively identify. Ahsoka turned the item over in her hands. "And it is fully functional? No data lost?"

"As if it had never seen the void from close up," the Commander confirmed. "And though it is not mine, I would really appreciate if the gear did not do that again."

Ahsoka hung her head shortly. "I understand." She looked up at Colt. He stood in the small workshop completely at ease, fully armoured up. They always were, as if it was a part of them. Maybe it was, just like her lightsaber was a part of her.

"The simulation should be over by now," Colt said gesturing to the door. "I think you want to be leaving as soon as possible again?"

Ahsoka nodded. "The faster the better." Something caught her eye, but when she turned her head there was only a chest plate set up for repairs. Still, when she looked away again there was the flicker again.

Noticing her irritation the clone commander picked up the piece of armour and held it against the light. Suddenly the form of a bird appeared on it, white against the white background.

"Is that a dove?", she asked in surprise.

Colt nodded. "Senaar Squad, they need a bit of shining up as yet." He tilted his head as if reviewing the squad's latest exploits in his head again. "But they will make it."

"But isn't the dove a symbol of peace?"

"We bring peace," Colt said. "One way or another."

"Interesting interpretation of peace," Ahsoka commented.

"Only a rather terminal one," Colt replied. "You cope as you can."

"Sometimes just don't understand it," she said softly. "I really don't and it bugs me." Her eyes traced the almost invisible white on white design. "I know it's there but when really look I can't see it."

"We're too similar and too different," Colt said. "Raised with conviction for a purpose, we stand with our own, fight with our own and ultimately also for them. What else do we have to protect?"

Ahsoka didn't answer. The parallels were obvious, but still it was not the same at all. Given a choice, she would _choose_ to be a Jedi. "And if you had had a choice?"

"I'd be where I am." He looked down at her. "Just as you would. Because we are where we are needed, doing what we can to make a difference. We cannot stand back and watch, we have to act. One Order, one army."

Grappling with the words, she clutched the helmet as if it was familiar territory. She had heard speeches similar to this, but those had come from her teachers. Duty and responsibility, Jedi didn't take a day off. She had not taken it too serious because it seemed that, at least in the Temple, Jedi had every day off.

Colt ushered her out of the door. "You are young, you will learn. It is this unity that gives strength. And you feel it. One day, you will also understand."

He didn't have to say that, Ahsoka knew. New clones had ultimate trust in Jedi, but Colt had been around. He had survived long enough to make up his own mind. "I will do my best."

"You can't cage him," Colt said softly.

She looked at the white armoured figure walking down the corridor towards them.

"You may mean as well as you can, but he needs to be out there. We fight as one. Brothers in arms, it's what defines us."

Ahsoka looked at the helmet in her hands and knew that Colt was right. "It's difficult."

"It always is." He dropped a hand on her shoulder. "And it doesn't get easier just because you know or understand or promise yourself to act accordingly."

"Or are sorry." It was barely a whisper. The girl that wanted to be a woman swallowed. Then she looked up at the familiar movements of Rex and took a step towards him. She held the helmet up between them, almost like an offering of peace. There was a spark of recognition in Rex eyes, but he seemed uncertain if he could trust them. He looked at her half a question formed between them.

Ahsoka knew then that it had been right to wait and give the helmet back only after it was fully repaired. It had been difficult to stand the cold disregard of the last days. It had been difficult to keep her mouth shut about the feat she had done with the Force. And above all it had been difficult not to order, berate or beg.

This was her responsibility and she had to live up to it. End of story.

"Yes," she nodded. "It is indeed yours." She felt embarrassment creep up her face. "I am sorry." There was the child speaking again. She shook her head and pulled herself up to her full height. "I mean to apologise for my behaviour, Captain." Now that sounded better. "It was a mistake and will not happen again."

Carefully he took the helmet from her hands. She noted that he didn't mind their hands touching. She smiled.

"You'd better," he growled.

But Ahsoka could feel that it was all pretence. "It was a mistake," she repeated, falling back into the friendship easily. "But you had me just so annoyed."

He tilted his head to the side. "I thought Jedi are not supposed to feel annoyance?"

"Or anything," Ahsoka snorted. She had such a long way to go there and looking at Rex it even seemed impossible. "I am working on it, Captain," she tried to smile.

He didn't tell her to hurry up.

Maybe that should not have made her so happy.


End file.
